yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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