I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
id be glad to
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
