Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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