DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
