The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Barsexuality is the new black.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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