Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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