So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
