you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize