It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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