i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
