i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
