Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
