I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
