Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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