He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
