I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
