she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
