I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
