The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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