U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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