so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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