So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
