i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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