I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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