just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
