I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
