Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
