I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
and she was petting her beer can
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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