Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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