Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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