We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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