Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
