I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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