I got chris browned last night
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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