u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
