yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
