Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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