you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
