If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
