How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
