Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
