He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This girl is more easily done than said...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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