Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
