Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
