What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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