So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
