maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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