im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
