Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
