u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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